There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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