But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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