Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
