Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
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