you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
