Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
