So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
