is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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