sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
