i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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