i wish peter jackson would direct porn
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's like a pop up book from hell.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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