fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The air was thick with penises
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
