i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Randomize
