whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
