Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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