are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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