Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
