i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
