i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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