Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
