I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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