Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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