the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
