i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize