If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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