Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
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