So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
