It's Friday. Sex?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
