Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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