guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
