u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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