is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i now understand why vodka
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
