Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
