fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
