At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Green mimosas i think yes
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
