So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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