there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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