This girl is more easily done than said...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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