i think my mom watched the whole time
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
