Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
