Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
