yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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