My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
