i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Green mimosas i think yes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
