I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
