just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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