I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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