I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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