i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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