You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
