Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
