nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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