just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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