"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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