you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
