this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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