We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
