You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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