If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize